This was the title of an essay I just read from Oprah's December issue. (Yes, I am just reading Decembers, I just can't seem to keep up. October is probably buried in the basket somewhere...
Anyway, the title totally caught my eye. I certainly struggle to find pleasure in not being perfect. As a matter of fact, I can't imagine anyone finding pleasure in it. To me, it's torture. I have fought the battle being a perfectionist my entire life. (I'm pretty sure since birth.) I can't live up to my own standards (and when I think about it intellectually, I don't think anyone can).
Truthfully, I've come a long way. I used to be a perfectionist about everything - the way I looked, the apartment looked, my work looked - it was all consuming. I've calmed down (some) since then. I've given up on the apartment. I just can't keep up with it. I'd rather be doing other things. And everything I do doesn't need to look perfect either. I'm getting better at "letting it go".
I still struggle with people however. That sounds odd even as I write it, because I'm such a people person. I know that's a strength of mine, but I expect myself to be perfect in each interaction I have. I say "sorry" for practically everything I say or do, even when I didn't do anything wrong. Even when what happened is completely out of my control. I will leave a situation and completely nit pick practically every thing I said - every response I gave, every question I asked, every everything...
Well, I guess knowing is half the battle. Maybe I'll carry this article around with me in my quest to find "The Pleasure of Not Being Perfect".
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5 comments:
I'm sorry you're still struggling with the people thing.
And I will continue to harass you for saying sorry to things that you really shouldn't be sorry for.
And I have noticed a huge change in you since having kids. I'm glad you've been able to let some things go.
And thank god you don't need others around you to be perfect, b/c it would be impossible for us to be friends!
b
You're NOT perfect? I thought that's why we are friends!!!! :o)
I can't believe I started all of those sentences with the word, "and". thank goodness a perfectionist won't be reading this!
I love Oprah...I just do. The people thing is tough. I don't have that problem. In my family, we made a joke of not being perfect that's just life.
I'm glad you are trying to be more realistic, because you're a pretty special person. Not everyone is always going to be pleased with you, and those who are your friends won't care. If I worried about what people thought or having perfect interactions, I'd be walking around sick all day.
I once heard that we read/ come across information when we need it most...it sounds like a good article.
Thanks for your thoughts everyone. Good to hear. I may come back and read them from time to time... :o)
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