I am so blessed to have a family that I LOVE to spend time with. This morning, R and I took the girls to a reservation area not far from our home. It was a beautiful day to walk around, look at the trees and just be together. We ended up playing in a leaf pile, hiking through the woods, and playing Pooh Sticks.
For those of you who are not familiar, Pooh Sticks is a game that Christopher Robbins created on Winnie-the-Pooh. You find a stick, and drop it over a bridge so that it rushes down stream, under the bridge. The goal is for your stick to make it under the bridge first! Such fun! We played for at least a half hour.
Have I mentioned I'm blessed?
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
funny pr story
Went to dinner with R tonight. My little bro came over to babysit. Had 2 drinks, but they were pretty strong. R said one of my sentences lasted for 15 minutes. :o)
Anyway, got home and PR was still awake - in her bed, but awake. She was listening to her Little People CD, which she knows is not approved bedtime music. Went in, gave her a kiss and said, "By the way PR, when Uncle Chris comes over to babysit, don't trick him into playing Little People music. You know that's not okay." She responded, "When Uncle Chris is here, he gets to decide."
Are you kidding? When did my 3 year old become a 12 year old?????????????? Too bad I laughed hysterically when she said it. God knows what I'll hear tomorrow. :o)
Anyway, got home and PR was still awake - in her bed, but awake. She was listening to her Little People CD, which she knows is not approved bedtime music. Went in, gave her a kiss and said, "By the way PR, when Uncle Chris comes over to babysit, don't trick him into playing Little People music. You know that's not okay." She responded, "When Uncle Chris is here, he gets to decide."
Are you kidding? When did my 3 year old become a 12 year old?????????????? Too bad I laughed hysterically when she said it. God knows what I'll hear tomorrow. :o)
Saturday, September 16, 2006
I knew it was going to happen...
By the end of the summer our apartment was getting back into shape. I was following my "Flylady" routines pretty faithfully and I was feeling pretty darn good. I even managed to fool myself into thinking that I'd be able to keep up with it once school started.
No such luck! I've had 8 days of school, and the apartment is close to disaster. I'm very inconsistent with my routines. The phrase, "I'll start again tomorrow" is becoming etched into my brain. I'm not looking for perfect, but I always feel better when the house looks halfway decent.
Going to read a good book now... Start my routines tomorrow. :o)
No such luck! I've had 8 days of school, and the apartment is close to disaster. I'm very inconsistent with my routines. The phrase, "I'll start again tomorrow" is becoming etched into my brain. I'm not looking for perfect, but I always feel better when the house looks halfway decent.
Going to read a good book now... Start my routines tomorrow. :o)
Monday, September 04, 2006
Labor Day Traditions
Came back this afternoon from an amazing weekend - exhausted, but amazing. :o) Every Labor Day my family (aunts, uncles and friends on my mom's side) get together for a camping trip. I've been going just about every year since I was fifteen years old. It was originally on the Saco River in Maine. We'd put all our camping gear in our canoes, cruise down the river, and camp out on the beach. We'd have 20+ tents set up in a semi-circle on the beach, and at night there was a giant bonfire in the middle - songs, s'mores, the whole nine yards.
Years went by, my aunts and uncles got older, kids (and more kids) were born, and the trip on the river got to be too much. We still go camping, but now we go to a more traditional campground. I don't handle change too well, so the transition was a difficult one for me. I mourned the loss of what was for several years. On the river, we were all there together - the whole time. People couldn't leave, there was no where to go. The tents in a semi-circle made it easy to socialize, or at least check out what everyone else was doing. There were volleyball games, canoe races, "Kowabunga!" and so much more. My favorite part was the community breakfast. Most meals, everyone fended for themselves. My mom was in charge of breakfast. She cooked everything - every morning. I assisted, but I didn't mind. It was tradition, and I loved it.
When we started going to campgrounds, things changed. I guess they had to. Each mini-family had their own campsite. You had to walk to find people. You never knew where everyone was because nobody was in sight. Then there started to be more than one fire! (I took this one particularly hard.) I'm not sure how that started, but apparently we have lots of people that like to light campfires. Now it's evolved so that not everyone comes overnight. Our less "hardy" family members have stopped even coming overnight. They drive up for the day, drive home and come back again in the morning. My mom is one of those people, so needless to say, breakfasts are gone too. (I'd take over that tradition, but more than likely no one would eat the food. :o)
I know this is beginning to sound like a "boo hoo" post. I definitely miss the old days, but I still love Labor Day weekends. I've learned to let go of my expectations and enjoy it for what it is. It's still about my family and being together - no matter what that looks like. I love looking around the sites and seeing everyone engaged in different things - Sudoku, poker, scrabble, soccer, frisbee... You name it. I love that our girls get to spend hours and hours playing with people that love them dearly. (They think their older cousins are gods. :o) I love sitting around the campfire at night and cracking each other (or ourselves :o) up. We also reminisce about the "old days". The Saco River has given my family more memories and stories than I could possibly share. Once we get started telling them, one just rolls into another.
Some things are the same. My Uncle David continues to challenge himself with Jiffy Pop on the open fire. (It's slightly less entertaining now that it actually comes our yummy. The burnt stuff was gross, but offered lots of laughs. :o) The poker games continue, and we have a cribbage tournament and horseshoe tournament every year. (My family is incredibly competitive.) The people are the same. My family, of course, but also the friends we've picked up along the way. Some friends of friends we only see on Labor Day. But we always look forward to seeing each other next year.
I walked around the sites this morning. Everyone was taking down their equipment and spreading it on the grass to dry. The tone was light, nobody's rushing, just doing what needs to be done. I love the fact that I've seen the same thing (almost)every year since I was fifteen. Another year, another fun weekend. A whole new set of stories to tell.
It doesn't get better than that. :o)
Years went by, my aunts and uncles got older, kids (and more kids) were born, and the trip on the river got to be too much. We still go camping, but now we go to a more traditional campground. I don't handle change too well, so the transition was a difficult one for me. I mourned the loss of what was for several years. On the river, we were all there together - the whole time. People couldn't leave, there was no where to go. The tents in a semi-circle made it easy to socialize, or at least check out what everyone else was doing. There were volleyball games, canoe races, "Kowabunga!" and so much more. My favorite part was the community breakfast. Most meals, everyone fended for themselves. My mom was in charge of breakfast. She cooked everything - every morning. I assisted, but I didn't mind. It was tradition, and I loved it.
When we started going to campgrounds, things changed. I guess they had to. Each mini-family had their own campsite. You had to walk to find people. You never knew where everyone was because nobody was in sight. Then there started to be more than one fire! (I took this one particularly hard.) I'm not sure how that started, but apparently we have lots of people that like to light campfires. Now it's evolved so that not everyone comes overnight. Our less "hardy" family members have stopped even coming overnight. They drive up for the day, drive home and come back again in the morning. My mom is one of those people, so needless to say, breakfasts are gone too. (I'd take over that tradition, but more than likely no one would eat the food. :o)
I know this is beginning to sound like a "boo hoo" post. I definitely miss the old days, but I still love Labor Day weekends. I've learned to let go of my expectations and enjoy it for what it is. It's still about my family and being together - no matter what that looks like. I love looking around the sites and seeing everyone engaged in different things - Sudoku, poker, scrabble, soccer, frisbee... You name it. I love that our girls get to spend hours and hours playing with people that love them dearly. (They think their older cousins are gods. :o) I love sitting around the campfire at night and cracking each other (or ourselves :o) up. We also reminisce about the "old days". The Saco River has given my family more memories and stories than I could possibly share. Once we get started telling them, one just rolls into another.
Some things are the same. My Uncle David continues to challenge himself with Jiffy Pop on the open fire. (It's slightly less entertaining now that it actually comes our yummy. The burnt stuff was gross, but offered lots of laughs. :o) The poker games continue, and we have a cribbage tournament and horseshoe tournament every year. (My family is incredibly competitive.) The people are the same. My family, of course, but also the friends we've picked up along the way. Some friends of friends we only see on Labor Day. But we always look forward to seeing each other next year.
I walked around the sites this morning. Everyone was taking down their equipment and spreading it on the grass to dry. The tone was light, nobody's rushing, just doing what needs to be done. I love the fact that I've seen the same thing (almost)every year since I was fifteen. Another year, another fun weekend. A whole new set of stories to tell.
It doesn't get better than that. :o)
Thursday, August 31, 2006
2:15
Temper Tantrums at 2:15 in the morning are the worst. Especially when you have a neighbor who lives directly below you. It's all over now. I'm going back to sleep. Good night.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Having Fun!
This afternoon B asked if I would play "roller coaster" with her. "Roller Coaster" is running around the loop of our apartment, with our hands up in the air, shreaking. :o) B was in the front "car", then H, then me. (B wasn't very happy when H and I weren't going fast enough. She almost lapped us and was upset because she wasn't in front any more.:o) I have to admit, it was great fun! I, of course, had to shake things up a bit. I added some curves and some loops to the routine.
Please remind me to stop and play with my girls more often. They are soooooooooooo much fun! :o)
Please remind me to stop and play with my girls more often. They are soooooooooooo much fun! :o)
Silly
I have to return a phone call to B's preschool teacher. She called to set up a home visit before school begins. I think the idea of a home visit is great - in theory. When someone wants to do one to MY house, for MY daughter - my stomach does flip flops. I'm nervous to even call her back! And I'M a TEACHER too!
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Rainy Days...
Make me tired. I'm definitely dragging today. Dragging so much that I've let B watch far more t.v. than she's accustomed. (She's in heaven! :o) I keep trying to get myself moving and can't. Yuck!
The good news is that R and I are going to the movies tonight! Last minute arrangements. His parents are coming to sit. (They are incredible!) Going to see "Little Miss Sunshine". B (the other B :o) said it was amazing. I think her words were - "I laughed so much I cried". I love laughing that hard. It gives me energy. Did I mention I need energy?
The good news is that R and I are going to the movies tonight! Last minute arrangements. His parents are coming to sit. (They are incredible!) Going to see "Little Miss Sunshine". B (the other B :o) said it was amazing. I think her words were - "I laughed so much I cried". I love laughing that hard. It gives me energy. Did I mention I need energy?
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
In Between
I'm in a weird place. Not bad, just weird. School is starting in two weeks. I'll only be at school a few days before it starts, so I've got some vacation left. That's a good thing I know, and I swear I've been having fun! But I'm having a difficult time relaxing. School is hanging there waiting for me, and it won't go away! It's going to be very different at school this year. I'm one of those people that just wants to know. What's it going to be like? What will all the changes bring? Even if it's bad, I'd rather just know. Anticipation gets to me... a lot.
The good news is I am having FUN! I'm able to push it out of my mind for some lengths of time.
There's still some summer left!!!!!!! :o)
The good news is I am having FUN! I'm able to push it out of my mind for some lengths of time.
There's still some summer left!!!!!!! :o)
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Jenn throws a good party
Another great summer day today! JRowe had Dylan's first birthday party. She knows how to throw a party! It was at a great park nearby with two great play structures, swings and a giant sprinkler. We thought it was going to be a washout (Sorry Jenn, it was definitely hard to have faith. :o), but the weather turned out perfect. All had fun!
The kids went on a Sesame Street treasure hunt. The one, two, three and four year old children were running all over the park seeking out the "blue monster that likes to eat cookies" or the "green monster that's grouchy and lives in a garbage can". Jenn's amazing art work made them easy to find. :o)
Despite Jenn's current state of displacement, she managed to make several delicious salads, a gorgeous fruit platter and serve yummy hamburgers and hot dogs. I wish I had room for more.
To end the day, the kids played in the giant sprinkler. They definitely had a blast! Dylan, although just one, was the most enthusiastic out there. Running right under the giant spray. If he fell, he bounced back up and ran some more. Happy Birthday Dylan!
Thanks for a great party Jenn! :o)
The kids went on a Sesame Street treasure hunt. The one, two, three and four year old children were running all over the park seeking out the "blue monster that likes to eat cookies" or the "green monster that's grouchy and lives in a garbage can". Jenn's amazing art work made them easy to find. :o)
Despite Jenn's current state of displacement, she managed to make several delicious salads, a gorgeous fruit platter and serve yummy hamburgers and hot dogs. I wish I had room for more.
To end the day, the kids played in the giant sprinkler. They definitely had a blast! Dylan, although just one, was the most enthusiastic out there. Running right under the giant spray. If he fell, he bounced back up and ran some more. Happy Birthday Dylan!
Thanks for a great party Jenn! :o)
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Good Times
I love my job, but I'm definitely not ready for school to start. We are having much to great of a summer. Constantly doing fun things, and we're all loving every minute of it.
Yesterday, we went to a beach on a lake. The kids played and played and played. They got to be with their cousins. There were smiles all around - swimming, splashing, running, swimming. Perfect summer. After, we went to Kimball's. (My FAVORITE ice cream place.) We ate far too much ice cream, walked around and looked at the animals. Then my mom treated us all to a ride on the bumper boats. Such fun!
Today we went to an amazing block party with B and her boys. There was a moon walk, a treasure hunt, a pinata and a pie eating contest. (Picture my 2 and 3 year old with their faces in a bowl of whipped cream and sprinkles! They didn't even use their hands! :O) Oh and I almost forgot to mention, there was more sugar than my girls have ever consumed in their lives... :o)
Looking down the street at the party was like looking at Main Street U.S.A. There were chairs and tables everywhere with people chatting, balloons, and brightly colored posters, a U.S. flag hanging down the center, and the best part - kids running, playing and smiling everywhere.
As you can probably tell, we all had a fabulous time. And I, for one, am thoroughly exhausted. (Don't worry, I'll bounce back. We've got girl's night in honor of JRowe tonight!:o)
Anyway, it's hard to let go of such an amazing time. But maybe if we always felt like this, we'd take it for granted... Besides, I'm not sure my body can keep up. :o)
Happy Summer!
Yesterday, we went to a beach on a lake. The kids played and played and played. They got to be with their cousins. There were smiles all around - swimming, splashing, running, swimming. Perfect summer. After, we went to Kimball's. (My FAVORITE ice cream place.) We ate far too much ice cream, walked around and looked at the animals. Then my mom treated us all to a ride on the bumper boats. Such fun!
Today we went to an amazing block party with B and her boys. There was a moon walk, a treasure hunt, a pinata and a pie eating contest. (Picture my 2 and 3 year old with their faces in a bowl of whipped cream and sprinkles! They didn't even use their hands! :O) Oh and I almost forgot to mention, there was more sugar than my girls have ever consumed in their lives... :o)
Looking down the street at the party was like looking at Main Street U.S.A. There were chairs and tables everywhere with people chatting, balloons, and brightly colored posters, a U.S. flag hanging down the center, and the best part - kids running, playing and smiling everywhere.
As you can probably tell, we all had a fabulous time. And I, for one, am thoroughly exhausted. (Don't worry, I'll bounce back. We've got girl's night in honor of JRowe tonight!:o)
Anyway, it's hard to let go of such an amazing time. But maybe if we always felt like this, we'd take it for granted... Besides, I'm not sure my body can keep up. :o)
Happy Summer!
Monday, August 14, 2006
I'm back!
Just got back from a 9 day vacation today! Had an absolutely blast! We rented a chalet in Bridgton, ME. Played in the sand by the pond, canoed, played in the pool, went to Story Land, Clark's Trading Post, The Lost River and North Conway. It was so much fun!!!! It was relaxing and rejuvenating and just fantastic.
If I could only bottle that relaxed, rejuvenated feeling... :o)
If I could only bottle that relaxed, rejuvenated feeling... :o)
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Nine years ago in September
Nine years ago this September, I began working as a classroom teacher for the first time. (I taught drama before that.) It was third grade. I'm returning to third grade this coming September, so I pulled out my plan book from that first year. I was struck by a couple of things.
First of all, I can picture each one of those kids. I kept coming across their names in my notes and immediately their image would be there, as if I saw them just yesterday. As a teacher, I love all of my students. I work hard with every one of them. But there's nothing like my first class.
Secondly, I realized they are seniors this year. They will actually be graduating high school. I'm trying to picture them "all grown up". I like the third grade images better. :o) "All grown up" makes me a little sad. Anyway, I'm determined to attend their graduation ceremony. I don't know if I'll see any of the kids there, but I'd really like to go see it. My first class...
I was blown away by the difference in my teaching. I know soooooooooooooo much more now. (Thank God!) Although I enjoyed looking through my old plans, they weren't very helpful. I wonder if I'll feel that way ten years from now looking at my plans from this year. :o)
First of all, I can picture each one of those kids. I kept coming across their names in my notes and immediately their image would be there, as if I saw them just yesterday. As a teacher, I love all of my students. I work hard with every one of them. But there's nothing like my first class.
Secondly, I realized they are seniors this year. They will actually be graduating high school. I'm trying to picture them "all grown up". I like the third grade images better. :o) "All grown up" makes me a little sad. Anyway, I'm determined to attend their graduation ceremony. I don't know if I'll see any of the kids there, but I'd really like to go see it. My first class...
I was blown away by the difference in my teaching. I know soooooooooooooo much more now. (Thank God!) Although I enjoyed looking through my old plans, they weren't very helpful. I wonder if I'll feel that way ten years from now looking at my plans from this year. :o)
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Proud of myself, but really proud of R
A while ago I decided to start working out again. This in itself is nothing out of the ordinary, because I've decided that many times before, and rarely followed through. This time, I did it. I've been riding the bike consistently for a few months, usually followed by 4 sets of 25 crunches and (occassionally) 10 push-ups.
Shortly after I started, R got started too. He even started eating right. Since then he has lost 16 pounds! He is very motivating to me, cause I'm a bit competitive. :o) But really I'm just proud of him for sticking with it.
Yeah us! :o)
Shortly after I started, R got started too. He even started eating right. Since then he has lost 16 pounds! He is very motivating to me, cause I'm a bit competitive. :o) But really I'm just proud of him for sticking with it.
Yeah us! :o)
Monday, July 24, 2006
My Girls are Growing Up
I think my heart is breaking just a little bit. I was in the basement sorting through the girls' baby clothes. I am planning to sell two bins of them at Kid to Kid tomorrow morning. I ended up sorting a bin of 3-6 months girl clothes. I'm sure you can picture them - mostly pink, and all adorable. I could picture the way the girls looked in many of them. I think I was in a bit of denial that they won't be wearing them again.
Growing up has been hitting me hard in general the past couple of weeks. B switched to a "big girl bed" last night. (Long overdue I know, probably more denial. :o) She's starting preschool in September. I generally consider myself a fairly calm mother, but I'm starting to panic. The rational part of myself knows that she's going to be fine, the emotional part of me is mostly a wreck.
She's been starting to be more aware of others and what they think. Recent quotes (that have been breaking my heart) have been:
"I'm nervous about the other kids..."
"I'm feeling shy..."
"I'm not an artist Mommy. I don't know how to draw any of those things. I only know how to draw tangles..."
I don't know where she's coming up with these feelings. She's only 3 1/2!
On the other hand, I know she's going to work through these feelings at some point. I know she will work through them. I know she will meet kids at preschool and make lots of friends. I know she'll be fine.
I'm not sure I will, but I'll keep working on that... :o)
Growing up has been hitting me hard in general the past couple of weeks. B switched to a "big girl bed" last night. (Long overdue I know, probably more denial. :o) She's starting preschool in September. I generally consider myself a fairly calm mother, but I'm starting to panic. The rational part of myself knows that she's going to be fine, the emotional part of me is mostly a wreck.
She's been starting to be more aware of others and what they think. Recent quotes (that have been breaking my heart) have been:
"I'm nervous about the other kids..."
"I'm feeling shy..."
"I'm not an artist Mommy. I don't know how to draw any of those things. I only know how to draw tangles..."
I don't know where she's coming up with these feelings. She's only 3 1/2!
On the other hand, I know she's going to work through these feelings at some point. I know she will work through them. I know she will meet kids at preschool and make lots of friends. I know she'll be fine.
I'm not sure I will, but I'll keep working on that... :o)
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
One more
Apparently I post in clumps...
BTW, H has apparently stopped screaming. (Hopefully I haven't jinxed myself.:o)
B has come up with a nick name for herself. She has a nickname that R calls her (Peanut). But he's been calling H Peanut too. We talked about B being Peanut 3 and Haley being Peanut 2, but apparently that wasn't good enough for B.
The other day when I came home Ronnie said, "B, tell Mommy what your new nick name is."
She looked at me very proudly, huge smile on her face, "Phone Ring."
"What?"
"Phone Ring."
Don't ask me where she came up with it. She hasn't explained, although we've asked her several times. Who can figure out the mind of a three year old? :o)
BTW, H has apparently stopped screaming. (Hopefully I haven't jinxed myself.:o)
B has come up with a nick name for herself. She has a nickname that R calls her (Peanut). But he's been calling H Peanut too. We talked about B being Peanut 3 and Haley being Peanut 2, but apparently that wasn't good enough for B.
The other day when I came home Ronnie said, "B, tell Mommy what your new nick name is."
She looked at me very proudly, huge smile on her face, "Phone Ring."
"What?"
"Phone Ring."
Don't ask me where she came up with it. She hasn't explained, although we've asked her several times. Who can figure out the mind of a three year old? :o)
Good stuff
We've been having a fantastic summer! In general I've been very relaxed. We've hit the beach, sprinkler parks, backyards, ice cream stores, all several times over. :o)It's definitely our best summer yet. The girls are at great ages. That much more independent so I can bring them to the sprinkler park, get them ready, then wave as they run around, and I sit and relax. :o) They come over to say hi on occassion, I give hugs or high fives, and off they go! What could be better?
Amazingly enough this vacation has seemed quite long. I didn't officially start until two weeks after school ended (curriculum work and a class I took), but the hard work and stress of the school year seems very far away.Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.... :o)
Amazingly enough this vacation has seemed quite long. I didn't officially start until two weeks after school ended (curriculum work and a class I took), but the hard work and stress of the school year seems very far away.Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.... :o)
Sorry!
Thanks so much for being interested in my crazy thoughts... I haven't written because the only time I've felt motivated to is when something's bothering me. I write and talk to process (as I know others do). But I feel negative when that's the only thing I end up posting, so I avoid it.
Tonight I'm in a funk. H won't stop crying. (Although it's silent this moment:o). My godson who's 12 is very sick. I just found out he will be fine, but I can't let go of the anxious feeling. (Tears welling as I write...) I will relax more when I'm able to see him. (Part of what he has is contagious, and I can't risk bringing it home to the girls.)
I'm going to stop this post now, and start a new positive post. Thanks for reading! :o)
Tonight I'm in a funk. H won't stop crying. (Although it's silent this moment:o). My godson who's 12 is very sick. I just found out he will be fine, but I can't let go of the anxious feeling. (Tears welling as I write...) I will relax more when I'm able to see him. (Part of what he has is contagious, and I can't risk bringing it home to the girls.)
I'm going to stop this post now, and start a new positive post. Thanks for reading! :o)
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Why procrastinate?
Do you struggle with this too? I have a four page reflection due on Tuesday to my principal. I have done everything but work on it for a week. I thought it was going to be challenging to write (things didn't go as well as I planned), so I kept avoiding it. So tonight (finally) I force myself to sit down and get started. I promised myself that after I wrote a page I could get up and do something else for a short while. (Thanks Flylady!) Well, you guessed it. I already wrote one page and it took me all of ten minutes.
Now I'm going to ride the bike. Will return to write the second page in half hour. I will NOT procrastinate again. :o)
Now I'm going to ride the bike. Will return to write the second page in half hour. I will NOT procrastinate again. :o)
Friday, May 26, 2006
I'm It
I was tagged by B. Here goes.
I am... exhausted. Four hours of sleep just doesn't cut it.
I want... to lay in bed all day with a good book.
I wish... that our week at the vacation house were here.
I hate... to wait. I have absolutely no patience. (Except for with kids. :o)
I miss... freedom. Don't get me wrong. I adore my children. They bring me such joy every day. But I would love to just get up and go when I want to go once in a while. I also have this vague memory of R and I just hanging out.
I fear... small spaces. I am very claustrophobic. Leaving a concert is torture for me because it's wall to wall people. I have to stop every five seconds or so and take deep breaths.
I hear... music. I hear lyrics to songs in what people say all the time. They'll say a phrase that reminds me of a song, and suddenly I'm singing it.
I wonder... how I'll ever handle our girls growing up. I just picture them older and I start to cry. I think I'll be a mess.
I regret... my inability to handle finances. I'm not sure we'll ever own a house.
I am not... good at relaxing. I'm trying to get better. But I have to work very hard at it. (How ironic. :o)
I dance... as often as possible. I LOVE to dance (but am awful at it). I don't like to leave the dance floor at weddings and parties. I even dance to Barney and Dora music with the girls while I'm doing dishes. :o)
I sing... more often than I dance. Music is energizing, stimulating, soothing and comforting to me - all at the same time. I know lyrics to many, many songs. Half the time I'm not even aware that I'm singing them.
I cry... constantly. Sappy movies, television shows, commercials, at weddings, looking at my girls, when I see someone else crying... It doesn't take anything to get me started.
I am not always... organized. But I would like to be. I'm good at organizing things, but I struggle to make the time to keep it that way.
I make with my hands... nothing. I'm terrible with my hands. I can't create or even cook. (Although I'm trying.)
I write... hesitantly. I like when I'm done, but I find the process somewhat painful.
I confuse... recipes. I'm a terrible cook, but I keep trying out new recipes. I inevitably mess them up somehow. B is very accustomed to getting phone calls - How do you... What does it mean when... Ask her to tell you about the garlic...
I need... to learn to relax.
I should... I'm trying to take this word out of my vocabulary, so I refuse to respond to this one.
I start... watching movies and tend to fall asleep. I usually have to ask R. if I've even seen most movies.
I finish... boxes of cereal without realizing it. Cap'n Crunch, Cocoa Krispies, Frosted Flakes, Apple Jacks, most anything sweet. I could eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Kind of disgusting I know, but I'm addicted.
I am... exhausted. Four hours of sleep just doesn't cut it.
I want... to lay in bed all day with a good book.
I wish... that our week at the vacation house were here.
I hate... to wait. I have absolutely no patience. (Except for with kids. :o)
I miss... freedom. Don't get me wrong. I adore my children. They bring me such joy every day. But I would love to just get up and go when I want to go once in a while. I also have this vague memory of R and I just hanging out.
I fear... small spaces. I am very claustrophobic. Leaving a concert is torture for me because it's wall to wall people. I have to stop every five seconds or so and take deep breaths.
I hear... music. I hear lyrics to songs in what people say all the time. They'll say a phrase that reminds me of a song, and suddenly I'm singing it.
I wonder... how I'll ever handle our girls growing up. I just picture them older and I start to cry. I think I'll be a mess.
I regret... my inability to handle finances. I'm not sure we'll ever own a house.
I am not... good at relaxing. I'm trying to get better. But I have to work very hard at it. (How ironic. :o)
I dance... as often as possible. I LOVE to dance (but am awful at it). I don't like to leave the dance floor at weddings and parties. I even dance to Barney and Dora music with the girls while I'm doing dishes. :o)
I sing... more often than I dance. Music is energizing, stimulating, soothing and comforting to me - all at the same time. I know lyrics to many, many songs. Half the time I'm not even aware that I'm singing them.
I cry... constantly. Sappy movies, television shows, commercials, at weddings, looking at my girls, when I see someone else crying... It doesn't take anything to get me started.
I am not always... organized. But I would like to be. I'm good at organizing things, but I struggle to make the time to keep it that way.
I make with my hands... nothing. I'm terrible with my hands. I can't create or even cook. (Although I'm trying.)
I write... hesitantly. I like when I'm done, but I find the process somewhat painful.
I confuse... recipes. I'm a terrible cook, but I keep trying out new recipes. I inevitably mess them up somehow. B is very accustomed to getting phone calls - How do you... What does it mean when... Ask her to tell you about the garlic...
I need... to learn to relax.
I should... I'm trying to take this word out of my vocabulary, so I refuse to respond to this one.
I start... watching movies and tend to fall asleep. I usually have to ask R. if I've even seen most movies.
I finish... boxes of cereal without realizing it. Cap'n Crunch, Cocoa Krispies, Frosted Flakes, Apple Jacks, most anything sweet. I could eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Kind of disgusting I know, but I'm addicted.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Driving Me Crazy
Okay. Hopefully writing this down will make this better. I considered e-mailing my therapist. Thought that might be too much like that Bill Murray movie. I suppose you'll all have to hear it instead.
At last week's therapy session I was so excited because I felt like I had made such progress - I have been less deferential, beating myself up less, being neurotic less, and generally not letting myself get stressed out as much. I definitely have made tremendous progress in this area. But I'm annoyed at myself tonight.
I just came back from a "party". (The new business that B and I started recently.) The party was hugely successful - my highest sales yet. Two people booked parties and one person interested in becoming a consultant. Woo hoo! I'm definitely pleased with that. Yet I keep going back to negative things. Yuck! I definitely talked too fast. Not sure why. I haven't done so bad at past parties, but I was nervous at this one. I also made a careless comment in front of a dear friend. It wasn't meant in a hurtful way, and I would never intentionally hurt her feelings. But I'm almost positive she heard me, and even more positive it bothered her. Finally, my brother was kind enough to babysit tonight (R had a hockey game) and I was an hour later than I said I'd be. He didn't seem upset at all - I think he was asleep on the couch. But I keep having a "yuck" feeling. Can't let it go.
The good news is, I'm certain I've made progress. I'm definitely getting better. Everybody has setbacks.
Hope this one goes away soon. :o)
At last week's therapy session I was so excited because I felt like I had made such progress - I have been less deferential, beating myself up less, being neurotic less, and generally not letting myself get stressed out as much. I definitely have made tremendous progress in this area. But I'm annoyed at myself tonight.
I just came back from a "party". (The new business that B and I started recently.) The party was hugely successful - my highest sales yet. Two people booked parties and one person interested in becoming a consultant. Woo hoo! I'm definitely pleased with that. Yet I keep going back to negative things. Yuck! I definitely talked too fast. Not sure why. I haven't done so bad at past parties, but I was nervous at this one. I also made a careless comment in front of a dear friend. It wasn't meant in a hurtful way, and I would never intentionally hurt her feelings. But I'm almost positive she heard me, and even more positive it bothered her. Finally, my brother was kind enough to babysit tonight (R had a hockey game) and I was an hour later than I said I'd be. He didn't seem upset at all - I think he was asleep on the couch. But I keep having a "yuck" feeling. Can't let it go.
The good news is, I'm certain I've made progress. I'm definitely getting better. Everybody has setbacks.
Hope this one goes away soon. :o)
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Have you seen Movin' Out?
I'm not sure I can put this into words, but I'll try. B and I went to see Movin' Out tonight at the Opera House. The only thing I can really say is - brilliant. I certainly knew "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" tells a story, but to integrate all of Billy Joel's other songs? Brilliant.
If you can't tell how much I liked it yet, I'll add this. I never sat back in my seat. I couldn't take my eyes off the stage and I wish I could see it again tomorrow. The dancing was so powerful and emotional. I wish I could move my body like that. Better yet, I wish I could communicate with my body like that.
To top it off, the music was Billy Joel's - my all time favorite. There's something that happens to me when I listen to his music. It's comforting and invigorating at the same time.
If you haven't seen Movin' Out - go see it. It's here until May 28.
If you can't tell how much I liked it yet, I'll add this. I never sat back in my seat. I couldn't take my eyes off the stage and I wish I could see it again tomorrow. The dancing was so powerful and emotional. I wish I could move my body like that. Better yet, I wish I could communicate with my body like that.
To top it off, the music was Billy Joel's - my all time favorite. There's something that happens to me when I listen to his music. It's comforting and invigorating at the same time.
If you haven't seen Movin' Out - go see it. It's here until May 28.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Two Things I Hate
1. Waking up from a nap feeling groggy and immobile. That happened to me today. Just couldn't get moving. What's the point of a nap if you don't feel better when you wake up?
2. The ending of West Wing. I love that show. I've been watching it faithfully for a few years. R made fun of me cause I cried during the finale. What can I say? I'm a sap.
2. The ending of West Wing. I love that show. I've been watching it faithfully for a few years. R made fun of me cause I cried during the finale. What can I say? I'm a sap.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Second Acts
Another trip to a book store tonight. This time with a gift card in hand. :o) I've been excited to purchase "Teacher Man" by Frank McCourt. I'm on page 2 of the Prologue and I already love it. So far, this is my favorite part:
"F. Scott Fitzgerald said that in American lives there are no second acts. He simply did not live long enough. In my case he was wrong.
When I taught in New York City high schools for thirty years no one but my students paid me a scrap of attention. In the world outside the school I was invisible. Then I wrote a book about my childhood and became mick of the moment. I hoped the book would explain family history to McCourt children and grandchildren. I hoped it might sell a few hundred copies and I might be invited to have discussions with book clubs. Instead it jummped onto the best-seller list and was translated into thirty languages and I was dazzled. The book was my second act."
"F. Scott Fitzgerald said that in American lives there are no second acts. He simply did not live long enough. In my case he was wrong.
When I taught in New York City high schools for thirty years no one but my students paid me a scrap of attention. In the world outside the school I was invisible. Then I wrote a book about my childhood and became mick of the moment. I hoped the book would explain family history to McCourt children and grandchildren. I hoped it might sell a few hundred copies and I might be invited to have discussions with book clubs. Instead it jummped onto the best-seller list and was translated into thirty languages and I was dazzled. The book was my second act."
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Bookstores
Had an adult evening out tonight. B, C and I went out to dinner (without kids :o). There's a bookstore down the street from the restaurant and I suggested checking it out after we ate. (The store has been there a year, and I've been meaning to go there since it opened...) I LOVE bookstores. When I walk into one I get such a feeling of peace - like I'm in a place that I'm supposed to be. I could just be there, all night, surrounded by books.
Duck, Duck, Goose
B got creative today as we hung out with the kids in her backyard. The boys wanted to go inside and she wasn't ready to go in yet. (It was soooooooo beautiful out.)Somehow, "Duck, Duck, Goose" popped into her head. She decided to teach five children 3 years old and under how to play.
First, she gathered them together and asked them to sit in a circle. This was a challenge in itself. They ended up in a deranged looking oval. :o) Good enough. Betsy started teaching them how to play. They all listened very intently to the directions. But they didn't quite get it. When the goose called "Goose!" instead of duck, nobody got up and ran. When we encouraged them to run, all the kids got up and ran. So that's what the game turned into. One of the kids would say, "duck, duck, duck, goose..." and all the kids would get up, run around the tree and run back to the circle. Hysterical! It was such fun to watch!
B got even more creative. Maybe she was afraid the kids would get bored, because she decided to change the game. Now instead of playing "Duck, Duck, Goose", they played "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Meatball". Have you heard of it? :o)
First, she gathered them together and asked them to sit in a circle. This was a challenge in itself. They ended up in a deranged looking oval. :o) Good enough. Betsy started teaching them how to play. They all listened very intently to the directions. But they didn't quite get it. When the goose called "Goose!" instead of duck, nobody got up and ran. When we encouraged them to run, all the kids got up and ran. So that's what the game turned into. One of the kids would say, "duck, duck, duck, goose..." and all the kids would get up, run around the tree and run back to the circle. Hysterical! It was such fun to watch!
B got even more creative. Maybe she was afraid the kids would get bored, because she decided to change the game. Now instead of playing "Duck, Duck, Goose", they played "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Meatball". Have you heard of it? :o)
Saturday, April 01, 2006
It's been a long time....
Hi everyone (if there's anyone still out there that occassionally checks this blog),
It's been too long since I've sat down to write. Now I do it at 3:30 in the morning when I just can't fall back asleep. B woke up earlier crying. She said, "There's a noise in this room." I asked her where it was coming from. She said, "The kitchen." Fortunately, she went back to sleep pretty quickly. Unfortunately, I did not.
Ironically, I just made a comment today that I don't generally have a problem sleeping. I was reading an article in Newsweek (from a few weeks ago of course :o) about a sleep aid that's become controversial. (Another of course, I can't remember the name of it. :o) Anyway, I was talking to R about the article as I was reading it and said, "Thank God I don't usually have trouble sleeping. Usually I have no problem keeping my eyes closed and my brain unconscious." Apparently, I jinxed myself, because here I am.
Part of the reason I haven't written in so long is sheer business. I know we're all busy, but I literally don't feel like I've had a moment. Unfortunately, poor blogger has become neglected. Hopefully things will slow down soon.
Hopefully I'll let things slow down soon. I have the awful habit of putting myself in this position - where I'm completely overcommitted, and doing things in a million directions. I always end up looking around and wondering how I got here. But if I'm honest with myself, the answer is - I got my own self here. I just wish I realized that while it was happening. Then I wouldn't be so darn tired.
As always, thanks for listening. Perhaps I'll go find something on tv. :o)
It's been too long since I've sat down to write. Now I do it at 3:30 in the morning when I just can't fall back asleep. B woke up earlier crying. She said, "There's a noise in this room." I asked her where it was coming from. She said, "The kitchen." Fortunately, she went back to sleep pretty quickly. Unfortunately, I did not.
Ironically, I just made a comment today that I don't generally have a problem sleeping. I was reading an article in Newsweek (from a few weeks ago of course :o) about a sleep aid that's become controversial. (Another of course, I can't remember the name of it. :o) Anyway, I was talking to R about the article as I was reading it and said, "Thank God I don't usually have trouble sleeping. Usually I have no problem keeping my eyes closed and my brain unconscious." Apparently, I jinxed myself, because here I am.
Part of the reason I haven't written in so long is sheer business. I know we're all busy, but I literally don't feel like I've had a moment. Unfortunately, poor blogger has become neglected. Hopefully things will slow down soon.
Hopefully I'll let things slow down soon. I have the awful habit of putting myself in this position - where I'm completely overcommitted, and doing things in a million directions. I always end up looking around and wondering how I got here. But if I'm honest with myself, the answer is - I got my own self here. I just wish I realized that while it was happening. Then I wouldn't be so darn tired.
As always, thanks for listening. Perhaps I'll go find something on tv. :o)
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Choices
It's amazing - the power of choice. It really works with my kids. H was arguing with her daddy tonight. She didn't want to brush her teeth. (She only likes to brush her teeth for Grammy. :o) The whining/negotiating continued. I walk into the room (can't STAND whining) and say, "H, you have a choice. Would you like Mommy to brush your teeth, or Daddy?" H said, "Daddy." End of argument. She smiled and opened wide. I could give countless examples.
Kids want to feel like they have control just like we do. I don't mind if they think they're in charge as long as they make one of MY choices. :o)
R has watched me use this strategy many times. He's actually tried to use it a couple of times. Usually it ends up with me laughing hysterically. One time, the conversation went like this: "B you have a choice. You can eat your supper or... (insert long pause here)or you can... eat your supper." (You can picture me facing the sink, my back to the action. My body was shaking with silent laughter.) The best part of the story was B's reply, "I'll eat my supper." And she did. :o)
Don't get me wrong, I know arguments aren't always going to be this simple. But "You have a choice..." works really well with my (practically) 2 and 3 year old. It also works well a good deal of the time in first grade. So, while it works, I'm going to enjoy it. :o)
Kids want to feel like they have control just like we do. I don't mind if they think they're in charge as long as they make one of MY choices. :o)
R has watched me use this strategy many times. He's actually tried to use it a couple of times. Usually it ends up with me laughing hysterically. One time, the conversation went like this: "B you have a choice. You can eat your supper or... (insert long pause here)or you can... eat your supper." (You can picture me facing the sink, my back to the action. My body was shaking with silent laughter.) The best part of the story was B's reply, "I'll eat my supper." And she did. :o)
Don't get me wrong, I know arguments aren't always going to be this simple. But "You have a choice..." works really well with my (practically) 2 and 3 year old. It also works well a good deal of the time in first grade. So, while it works, I'm going to enjoy it. :o)
Saturday, March 11, 2006
When did I get to be a grown up?
As I mentioned in the previous post, a bunch of us girls went out on the town last night. I haven't been to a bar in Boston in years (maybe since my bachelorette party)and I certainly haven't stayed out until 12:30 lately.
I had a great time - had lots of laughs and enjoyed my friends' company. But throughout the night, I felt incredibly old. First of all, we drove my green mini-van. (And no B, I don't think renaming it the "party van" helped. :o) But then we went inside the bar. Just seeing the age of people and how they were dressed made me feel OLD!!!!!!!! I know that we looked like a bunch of "moms" walking through the door. :o) It was especially noticeable when we all started yawning by 9:30!!!!!!
It reminded me of one day this summer. I was at the sprinkler park with the girls. I was watching all of these women come in with their kids. Just thinking in my head, I was noticing they looked like "moms". (In my mind that translates as how my mom looked when I was a kid.) It suddenly occurred to me THAT I WAS ONE OF THOSE MOMS!!!!!!!!
Don't get me wrong. My age generally doesn't bother me. I'm not the type to get upset when my birthday rolls around. I think age is all in your attitude, and mine is fairly young. But I'd just like to know, when did I get to be a grown up?
I had a great time - had lots of laughs and enjoyed my friends' company. But throughout the night, I felt incredibly old. First of all, we drove my green mini-van. (And no B, I don't think renaming it the "party van" helped. :o) But then we went inside the bar. Just seeing the age of people and how they were dressed made me feel OLD!!!!!!!! I know that we looked like a bunch of "moms" walking through the door. :o) It was especially noticeable when we all started yawning by 9:30!!!!!!
It reminded me of one day this summer. I was at the sprinkler park with the girls. I was watching all of these women come in with their kids. Just thinking in my head, I was noticing they looked like "moms". (In my mind that translates as how my mom looked when I was a kid.) It suddenly occurred to me THAT I WAS ONE OF THOSE MOMS!!!!!!!!
Don't get me wrong. My age generally doesn't bother me. I'm not the type to get upset when my birthday rolls around. I think age is all in your attitude, and mine is fairly young. But I'd just like to know, when did I get to be a grown up?
Great (but exhausting) day!
Had a really good day today, despite the fact that I'm exhausted from our night on the town last night. :o)
Went to my aunt's this morning. Bunch of my family there. The girls LOVE their cousin Kirsten and their Grammy. I love watching the way they interact with people. Listening to their conversations is the best. We just played and played. When I told Becca she could go in the backyard to play I though she was going to explode. She was so excited, "WE CAN GO IN THE BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (I think we're all ready for spring.:o)
We all packed up for a walk in Callahan State Park. We wanted the kids to be able to wander freely and just run around. Strangely enough when we pulled up to the parking lot there were many police officers. Seems there was a grenade??????? found in the woods. They were getting ready to detonate it???????? Needless to say, we found a new park.
The park we found was great. HUGE open fields and lots of mud! :o) We ran and played and walked and threw the ball - all under the sunshine. I LOVE SPRING!!!! I also love watching my girls laugh. It's magical. They love each other and practically everything around them. They make me incredibly happy. :o)
Hit McDonald's for lunch (Becca's second favorite restaurant), then home for a (much needed nap). We all slept for two hours. (I slept so well that I dreamed I heard the doorbell ring. Turns out my friend Chris came looking to go for a walk, so I DID hear the doorbell ring. Too bad I never answered...:o(
Tonight we went to my school's skate night. Lots of kids that I've taught, most wearing rental skates and wobbling around anxiously. It was great fun to see them all and especially see their smiles. They were very excited to see the girls. The girls were in awe of them. Becca did great skating! She even skated by herself for a while. My back will take a while to recover, but I'm so glad we went.
So like I said - a great day! Although I have to say, I hope tomorrow isn't so great. I think I'd like to stay home and rest. :o)
Went to my aunt's this morning. Bunch of my family there. The girls LOVE their cousin Kirsten and their Grammy. I love watching the way they interact with people. Listening to their conversations is the best. We just played and played. When I told Becca she could go in the backyard to play I though she was going to explode. She was so excited, "WE CAN GO IN THE BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (I think we're all ready for spring.:o)
We all packed up for a walk in Callahan State Park. We wanted the kids to be able to wander freely and just run around. Strangely enough when we pulled up to the parking lot there were many police officers. Seems there was a grenade??????? found in the woods. They were getting ready to detonate it???????? Needless to say, we found a new park.
The park we found was great. HUGE open fields and lots of mud! :o) We ran and played and walked and threw the ball - all under the sunshine. I LOVE SPRING!!!! I also love watching my girls laugh. It's magical. They love each other and practically everything around them. They make me incredibly happy. :o)
Hit McDonald's for lunch (Becca's second favorite restaurant), then home for a (much needed nap). We all slept for two hours. (I slept so well that I dreamed I heard the doorbell ring. Turns out my friend Chris came looking to go for a walk, so I DID hear the doorbell ring. Too bad I never answered...:o(
Tonight we went to my school's skate night. Lots of kids that I've taught, most wearing rental skates and wobbling around anxiously. It was great fun to see them all and especially see their smiles. They were very excited to see the girls. The girls were in awe of them. Becca did great skating! She even skated by herself for a while. My back will take a while to recover, but I'm so glad we went.
So like I said - a great day! Although I have to say, I hope tomorrow isn't so great. I think I'd like to stay home and rest. :o)
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Reading with my girls...
I always knew, even before the girls were born that I would love reading to them. Not a big surprise exactly. I teach first grade. I LOVE to read and I LOVE children's books. Put my daughters and books into one moment - aaaaaaaaah...
We take turns choosing the books. Sometimes they choose, sometimes I choose. They always get to choose what order the books are read. Their current favorites are Ruby and Max books by Rosemary Wells. We read all five of them every night. Becca often reads them with me and I'm so amazed with the questions she can answer. :o) Some old favorites are the Wishy Washy series by Joy Cowley. Haley loves to sit on my lap while I twist her around saying, "wishy washy, wishy washy". She asks for it again, and again. Amazingly, I don't get sick of reading it.
I think my current favorite is "Mama, Do You Love Me?" I read the book in the daughter's and mama's voices. At the end the mama says, "I will love you forever and for always because you are my dear one." When I read it though, I point to Becca and then I add - and you, and point to Haley - are my dear ones. They beam everytime - as if I were telling them I love them for the very first time. I live for that beam. :o)
I love that they love books as much as I do. You can find either one of them at any given part of the day sitting with a book, telling the story of the pictures. I can even hear Becca in her crib at night. She'll open a book and say, "Once upon a time..." What a gift!
I enjoy so much reading to them now, and I don't wish these days away for a minute. But I'm definitely looking forward to all of the amazing literature we'll share as they get older. There are so many books I don't want them to miss. So many stories for us to get lost in together. And then we'll be able to start chapter books... :o)
We take turns choosing the books. Sometimes they choose, sometimes I choose. They always get to choose what order the books are read. Their current favorites are Ruby and Max books by Rosemary Wells. We read all five of them every night. Becca often reads them with me and I'm so amazed with the questions she can answer. :o) Some old favorites are the Wishy Washy series by Joy Cowley. Haley loves to sit on my lap while I twist her around saying, "wishy washy, wishy washy". She asks for it again, and again. Amazingly, I don't get sick of reading it.
I think my current favorite is "Mama, Do You Love Me?" I read the book in the daughter's and mama's voices. At the end the mama says, "I will love you forever and for always because you are my dear one." When I read it though, I point to Becca and then I add - and you, and point to Haley - are my dear ones. They beam everytime - as if I were telling them I love them for the very first time. I live for that beam. :o)
I love that they love books as much as I do. You can find either one of them at any given part of the day sitting with a book, telling the story of the pictures. I can even hear Becca in her crib at night. She'll open a book and say, "Once upon a time..." What a gift!
I enjoy so much reading to them now, and I don't wish these days away for a minute. But I'm definitely looking forward to all of the amazing literature we'll share as they get older. There are so many books I don't want them to miss. So many stories for us to get lost in together. And then we'll be able to start chapter books... :o)
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Well, I've been trying to stay positive, but I'm pretty miserable. Don't get me wrong. I'm very excited (although a little scared) about the new business venture. I'm not happy with teaching right now. I'm very sad that I'm not happy. It makes me so sad that this profession that I am passionate about is wearing me down. I never thought that I would be the one not wanting to come to school. I'm shutting down mid school day. To the point where I don't want to interact with the kids anymore. (Unfortunately, interacting is kind of a requirement. :o)
Part of the problem is I don't really know what's going on with me. Where is this stemming from? I know these past two years have been very challenging. I have had two years with incredibly needy students. That is definitely taking it's toll. The problem is everyone has years with challenging students and if I'm going to teach (and I can't imagine not teaching) I'm going to have to figure out how to deal with it.
One of my students falls apart at the drop of a pin. When I say falls apart - imagine wailing at the top of his lungs, to be heard some distance from the classroom. After these instances, and lately any interaction I have even discussing him, I feel fried. I'm completely overwhelmed, don't know how to help him and can't figure what else to do.
If this were my only student struggling emotionally, I might be able to manage. But I have 5 other children struggling with significant emotional needs.
There is a piece of my brain that understands that I can't be superwoman. There is a small piece of my brain that understands that there is only so much that I can do. Unfortunately, a HUGE part of my brain doesn't agree. I think that's a huge part of my problem. I continue to expect myself to do everything and do it all well (yesterday no less). I know this is true because as I write it my eyes are filling with tears. (Always an indicator that I've struck a chord.)
So as my school day goes on, I'm thrown many challenges. For each challenge, I expect to provide a solution (yesterday :o). As the challenges build, my emotions run high. I feel overwhelmed. In addition, normal things happen. I forget to photocopy something, we run out of something, I only meet with one guided reading group... I beat myself up because it's not done. Internal conversation, "How could you not have thought of that. Of course it needs to be done. Now you're not doing x,y, and z..." "You haven't addressed ________, What about __________, You need to do something about __________, _____________ is not getting what he/she needs..." These "productive" conversations continue to run me down so that I feel even more overwhelmed. Suddenly, my brain can't take anymore. I shut down and I don't want to teach anymore. Yuck.
So what do you do about something that you know you've created, but you don't know how to fix?
My first plan of action is to focus on what I am doing well. (Can you tell I'm not very good at that? :o) Maybe I'll stop once at lunch, and once at the end of the day to write myself a note. (Pathetic, but maybe what I need.)
I also know I can apply Flylady to this somehow. I just need to be creative. Baby steps...
Anyway, once again, thanks for listening. Writing this was therapeutic. That's really why I started this blog (other than copying B :o), I get so much out of writing and rarely take the time to do it.
Thanks again. :o)
Part of the problem is I don't really know what's going on with me. Where is this stemming from? I know these past two years have been very challenging. I have had two years with incredibly needy students. That is definitely taking it's toll. The problem is everyone has years with challenging students and if I'm going to teach (and I can't imagine not teaching) I'm going to have to figure out how to deal with it.
One of my students falls apart at the drop of a pin. When I say falls apart - imagine wailing at the top of his lungs, to be heard some distance from the classroom. After these instances, and lately any interaction I have even discussing him, I feel fried. I'm completely overwhelmed, don't know how to help him and can't figure what else to do.
If this were my only student struggling emotionally, I might be able to manage. But I have 5 other children struggling with significant emotional needs.
There is a piece of my brain that understands that I can't be superwoman. There is a small piece of my brain that understands that there is only so much that I can do. Unfortunately, a HUGE part of my brain doesn't agree. I think that's a huge part of my problem. I continue to expect myself to do everything and do it all well (yesterday no less). I know this is true because as I write it my eyes are filling with tears. (Always an indicator that I've struck a chord.)
So as my school day goes on, I'm thrown many challenges. For each challenge, I expect to provide a solution (yesterday :o). As the challenges build, my emotions run high. I feel overwhelmed. In addition, normal things happen. I forget to photocopy something, we run out of something, I only meet with one guided reading group... I beat myself up because it's not done. Internal conversation, "How could you not have thought of that. Of course it needs to be done. Now you're not doing x,y, and z..." "You haven't addressed ________, What about __________, You need to do something about __________, _____________ is not getting what he/she needs..." These "productive" conversations continue to run me down so that I feel even more overwhelmed. Suddenly, my brain can't take anymore. I shut down and I don't want to teach anymore. Yuck.
So what do you do about something that you know you've created, but you don't know how to fix?
My first plan of action is to focus on what I am doing well. (Can you tell I'm not very good at that? :o) Maybe I'll stop once at lunch, and once at the end of the day to write myself a note. (Pathetic, but maybe what I need.)
I also know I can apply Flylady to this somehow. I just need to be creative. Baby steps...
Anyway, once again, thanks for listening. Writing this was therapeutic. That's really why I started this blog (other than copying B :o), I get so much out of writing and rarely take the time to do it.
Thanks again. :o)
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Back Online!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so excited! New computer is purchased, here and set up!!!!!!! Deep sigh of relief...
Now I can officially sign up for my new venture with B!!!!!!! I'm very much looking forward to it. It's a much needed distraction from school. My dad asked why I wouldn't tutor to earn extra money. Truthfully, I don't want to. I need a break. I need another focus, and I think B and I will have a blast doing it together! :o)
In many ways it bothers me that I don't want to tutor. I think of myself as a teacher at heart so not wanting to teach makes me sad. But the other part of me (the new me :o) is working hard to accept that it doesn't have to be all of nothing. I can be a teacher, and a good one, but not have it be all consuming.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On another note, I'm very proud of myself tonight. Flylady's baby steps really work for me. I have an inbox with more than 100 e-mails. Normally that would freak me out completely. Not now. Tonight I finished all e-mails dated February 22. Then I stopped. If I feel like going back on later, I'll read more. If not, there's always tomorrow! IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!
(I know this realization is not rocket science for everyone, but for me - a big deal. :o)
Thanks for listening. Mel
Now I can officially sign up for my new venture with B!!!!!!! I'm very much looking forward to it. It's a much needed distraction from school. My dad asked why I wouldn't tutor to earn extra money. Truthfully, I don't want to. I need a break. I need another focus, and I think B and I will have a blast doing it together! :o)
In many ways it bothers me that I don't want to tutor. I think of myself as a teacher at heart so not wanting to teach makes me sad. But the other part of me (the new me :o) is working hard to accept that it doesn't have to be all of nothing. I can be a teacher, and a good one, but not have it be all consuming.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On another note, I'm very proud of myself tonight. Flylady's baby steps really work for me. I have an inbox with more than 100 e-mails. Normally that would freak me out completely. Not now. Tonight I finished all e-mails dated February 22. Then I stopped. If I feel like going back on later, I'll read more. If not, there's always tomorrow! IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!
(I know this realization is not rocket science for everyone, but for me - a big deal. :o)
Thanks for listening. Mel
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Me again. Apparently have lots to say. Maybe the computer being down is a good thing. :o)
I've been thinking an awful lot about school. (For those of you who don't know, I'm a first grade teacher.) It's been a very challenging year. Actually, years. Last year was pretty tough too. Teaching has always been the one thing that I feel really confident about. But over the last two years, I've had some incredibly challenging children and I truthfully don't feel as if I've been meeting some of their needs. It's really making me wonder if I'm good at this at all. (For those of you who know me - don't defend me. It's okay. I've promised myself it will get better.)
One of the problems is, I've done everything I know how to do. I've used all my tricks. (And I've got quite a few. I've been doing this for a while.) My tricks aren't working. We are having major melt downs almost every day. It doesn't feel like I have time to actually teach anymore. I have to ask myself - what's going on. What am I doing (or not doing) that's perpetuating this problem.
Teaching has so exhausted me these past couple of years that I've thought about other possibilities. (For those of you who don't know me - teaching is my passion. It's everything I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember. Most of the times I LOVE what I do.) When B and I were in SF I was tossing around possible alternatives. I thought working at the front desk in the hotel would be a good option. I'm a people person. I can smile pretty, chit chat and do customer service. I'm pretty good at solving conflicts (most of the time). I think I could do that job very well. And not be quite so stressed.
Don't worry. I know that I would be happy only for a week or two. I'm so pathetically a teacher that I start itching to come back to school by the first week in August. Talking about teaching and my students is fun for me. I do it somewhat obsessively. I know when the kids come back on Monday we'll start again. We'll stick with some routines, and make some changes to help us grow. I know the children are learning and growing in a million different ways. (That's one of the gifts of teaching first grade. The leaps are huge and very visible. :o) I also know that I will learn from this. It will make me a better teacher. The experience I have with these babes will help me to better support those in the future.
I know it will be okay. I know I am good at this. But man is it hard...
I've been thinking an awful lot about school. (For those of you who don't know, I'm a first grade teacher.) It's been a very challenging year. Actually, years. Last year was pretty tough too. Teaching has always been the one thing that I feel really confident about. But over the last two years, I've had some incredibly challenging children and I truthfully don't feel as if I've been meeting some of their needs. It's really making me wonder if I'm good at this at all. (For those of you who know me - don't defend me. It's okay. I've promised myself it will get better.)
One of the problems is, I've done everything I know how to do. I've used all my tricks. (And I've got quite a few. I've been doing this for a while.) My tricks aren't working. We are having major melt downs almost every day. It doesn't feel like I have time to actually teach anymore. I have to ask myself - what's going on. What am I doing (or not doing) that's perpetuating this problem.
Teaching has so exhausted me these past couple of years that I've thought about other possibilities. (For those of you who don't know me - teaching is my passion. It's everything I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember. Most of the times I LOVE what I do.) When B and I were in SF I was tossing around possible alternatives. I thought working at the front desk in the hotel would be a good option. I'm a people person. I can smile pretty, chit chat and do customer service. I'm pretty good at solving conflicts (most of the time). I think I could do that job very well. And not be quite so stressed.
Don't worry. I know that I would be happy only for a week or two. I'm so pathetically a teacher that I start itching to come back to school by the first week in August. Talking about teaching and my students is fun for me. I do it somewhat obsessively. I know when the kids come back on Monday we'll start again. We'll stick with some routines, and make some changes to help us grow. I know the children are learning and growing in a million different ways. (That's one of the gifts of teaching first grade. The leaps are huge and very visible. :o) I also know that I will learn from this. It will make me a better teacher. The experience I have with these babes will help me to better support those in the future.
I know it will be okay. I know I am good at this. But man is it hard...
Life without...
I'm here at school. Supposed to be getting lots of work done. You know - catch up, get reorganized. I've been here for an hour. Here I sit at the computer. Doing what you might ask? Reading blogs. (B, I think you're right. It is a sickness. :o) My computer has left me. So here I am online when I should be working. Who knew I would miss my computer so much!
Over the last two nights I have tried to go online no less than 20 times. (Not just for blogs :o) Everytime I thought about something I thought - Oh, I'll go check online. But I CAN't!!!!!!! What did we do before the internet??????
Truthfully, there are a lot of things I can't imagine living without. Things that in the scheme of things haven't been around all that long.
Do you remember life without ATMs???? I enter a bank maybe once or twice a year.
Remote controls? Couldn't find mine yesterday while the girls were napping (later found it on the kitchen counter of all places). I was miserable. I actually had to stand up to adjust the volume, and go through a million channels to find Judging Amy on TNT. :o(
Microwaves?
Velcro?
Cordless phones?
VCRs?
These are all things that have come into existence (or at least popularity) when I was old enough to notice. Call me spoiled, but I can't imagine how people lived!!!!! :o)
Over the last two nights I have tried to go online no less than 20 times. (Not just for blogs :o) Everytime I thought about something I thought - Oh, I'll go check online. But I CAN't!!!!!!! What did we do before the internet??????
Truthfully, there are a lot of things I can't imagine living without. Things that in the scheme of things haven't been around all that long.
Do you remember life without ATMs???? I enter a bank maybe once or twice a year.
Remote controls? Couldn't find mine yesterday while the girls were napping (later found it on the kitchen counter of all places). I was miserable. I actually had to stand up to adjust the volume, and go through a million channels to find Judging Amy on TNT. :o(
Microwaves?
Velcro?
Cordless phones?
VCRs?
These are all things that have come into existence (or at least popularity) when I was old enough to notice. Call me spoiled, but I can't imagine how people lived!!!!! :o)
Monday, February 20, 2006
Do I have a blog?
It's feels like a million years since I've posted. I've been caving to my latest obsessions - excercising and cleaning. (Don't laugh, I know, I've lost it.) This fly lady business has got me a bit caught up. I've even found savingdinner.com. It sends shopping lists and recipes for 6 nights at a shot. I actually liked the recipes that they sent! (I'm a very picky eater, so this is a rare occurence.)
The good news is I'm sticking with the excercise (and actually reading something for a change) and my house is getting clean (somewhat) and decluttered (also somewhat).
I've also been slightly obsesed with the Olympics. I love watching them. Don't care what the sport is. Just like to watch and hear everyone's stories. And, being the sappy fool that I am, I have to cry during the medal ceremonies.
I wonder how long
The good news is I'm sticking with the excercise (and actually reading something for a change) and my house is getting clean (somewhat) and decluttered (also somewhat).
I've also been slightly obsesed with the Olympics. I love watching them. Don't care what the sport is. Just like to watch and hear everyone's stories. And, being the sappy fool that I am, I have to cry during the medal ceremonies.
I wonder how long
theseobsessions will last?????????????
Thursday, February 16, 2006
excercise
Just got off the bike. Thank you to B for getting me motivated. I've actually climbed on 4 times in the past week! :o) (It's been collecting clothes and dust for a while...)
Part of my problem is I need someone to be working out with me. I think it's a competition thing. (I'm not in competition with B, but it helps to know someone else is doing it too.) I think the Olympics is helping too. Those athletes work their butts off. I can at least do 30 minutes. :o)
The best part about working out for me is the reading. I don't generally watch tv while I'm pedaling, I usually read. Reading is one of my favorite things in the world, and since my darling girls were born, I don't do much of it. (Who has the time?) Now I get 30 minutes of reading a night! Yeah!
Speaking of time, I've joined a new group that's supposed to save me some (or at least help me structure mine). It's called flylady.net. Although it drives hubby crazy for the million e-mails I get. It's cool. It helps build routines (which I desperately need) and promotes baby steps for getting everything done. I definitely want to get everything done, and baby steps feel manageable. So I'll stick with this for now, million e-mails and all. Let you know how it goes!
Part of my problem is I need someone to be working out with me. I think it's a competition thing. (I'm not in competition with B, but it helps to know someone else is doing it too.) I think the Olympics is helping too. Those athletes work their butts off. I can at least do 30 minutes. :o)
The best part about working out for me is the reading. I don't generally watch tv while I'm pedaling, I usually read. Reading is one of my favorite things in the world, and since my darling girls were born, I don't do much of it. (Who has the time?) Now I get 30 minutes of reading a night! Yeah!
Speaking of time, I've joined a new group that's supposed to save me some (or at least help me structure mine). It's called flylady.net. Although it drives hubby crazy for the million e-mails I get. It's cool. It helps build routines (which I desperately need) and promotes baby steps for getting everything done. I definitely want to get everything done, and baby steps feel manageable. So I'll stick with this for now, million e-mails and all. Let you know how it goes!
Sunday, February 12, 2006
friendship
As many of you know, Tuesday is B's birthday. I was thinking about that this afternoon, and as I did, I couldn't help but be grateful for her presence in my life, and therefore the day of her birth.
She is there for me in a million ways. Just to name a few:
*surprising me with tickets to see Billy Joel for my birthday (which isn't until April.:o)
*making me laugh many times daily
*motivating me to get on the bike today
*she's helped me accept the condition of my apartment - and it's really okay
*being on the other end of the phone when I have to complain (or brag :o) about my kids
*listening to stories of weird dreams (that I don't really want to know the meaning of:o)
*she was my first friend at Eliot
*being in her classroom to hear my latest saga with administration, parents or students
*being a shoulder to cry on due to saga with administration, parents or students, or anything else that's going on (I cry a lot :O)
*I can complain to her about hubby, and I know she won't judge him
*I've told her things I've never told anyone else
*fellow walker on weekends and after school
*playdate for those long afternoons or mornings
*constantly putting things in perspective for me
Most importantly,
*B is one of two people in this world who make it (more) okay for me not to be perfect (those of you who know me, know what a challenge this is for me) - and she reminds me of this every day and without saying a word...
She is there for me in a million ways. Just to name a few:
*surprising me with tickets to see Billy Joel for my birthday (which isn't until April.:o)
*making me laugh many times daily
*motivating me to get on the bike today
*she's helped me accept the condition of my apartment - and it's really okay
*being on the other end of the phone when I have to complain (or brag :o) about my kids
*listening to stories of weird dreams (that I don't really want to know the meaning of:o)
*she was my first friend at Eliot
*being in her classroom to hear my latest saga with administration, parents or students
*being a shoulder to cry on due to saga with administration, parents or students, or anything else that's going on (I cry a lot :O)
*I can complain to her about hubby, and I know she won't judge him
*I've told her things I've never told anyone else
*fellow walker on weekends and after school
*playdate for those long afternoons or mornings
*constantly putting things in perspective for me
Most importantly,
*B is one of two people in this world who make it (more) okay for me not to be perfect (those of you who know me, know what a challenge this is for me) - and she reminds me of this every day and without saying a word...
Saturday, February 11, 2006
help for my mom
Hello all, My mom went back to school. She's in an undergrad program majoring in Communications. She's writing a paper for a class. If you're a woman and don't mind responding for a moment, she has some questions:
Instead of choosing a topic, I'm writing about if and what women's issues
are based on women's ages, marital status, ect.
Could you answer the following questions and write one or two sentences on
what, if any, do you consider an issue for you. For example, self image as
imposed by the media, the wage differential between men and women, household
demands....or none.
I'm trying to include different ages. Another example is I interviewed a 27
year old and she felt she didn't have any issues. In her occupation she gets
paid the same as a male does, her and her brother were brought up with the
same standards ect. She did mentioned she contributed her lack of issues to
all the women who had fought for her rights previously.
I know my mom will appreciate your help. I'll forward your responses. :o)
Instead of choosing a topic, I'm writing about if and what women's issues
are based on women's ages, marital status, ect.
Could you answer the following questions and write one or two sentences on
what, if any, do you consider an issue for you. For example, self image as
imposed by the media, the wage differential between men and women, household
demands....or none.
I'm trying to include different ages. Another example is I interviewed a 27
year old and she felt she didn't have any issues. In her occupation she gets
paid the same as a male does, her and her brother were brought up with the
same standards ect. She did mentioned she contributed her lack of issues to
all the women who had fought for her rights previously.
I know my mom will appreciate your help. I'll forward your responses. :o)
Thursday, February 09, 2006
80s
Thought some of you might like this -
It has all kinds of old 80s video games. Pacman, DigDug, Donkey Kong, Frogger, you name it.
Ronnie's been playing Tetris non-stop!!!!!! :o)
http://www.tripletsandus.com/80s/80s_games/arcade.htm
Sorry there's not an actual link. I tried to link something three times - three times - no luck!
It has all kinds of old 80s video games. Pacman, DigDug, Donkey Kong, Frogger, you name it.
Ronnie's been playing Tetris non-stop!!!!!! :o)
http://www.tripletsandus.com/80s/80s_games/arcade.htm
Sorry there's not an actual link. I tried to link something three times - three times - no luck!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
American Idol
Any fans out there? I'm not a big reality show fan (sorry B), but if I bump into American Idol when the auditions are on I'll stop and watch them. Tonight they're from Boston.
I'm a performer - a singer (not an amazing one, but I can sing pretty well). And quite honestly it's painful, and also funny to watch these people try to sing. I'm convinced that some of them are just being as ridiculous as possible in order to get on t.v. (Or at least I hope that's what they're doing...) But there are others that really think they can sing. But they're really, really bad.
I'm usually laughing when these people perform, but I'm also cringing. I'm embarassed for them.
Why are we so fascinated with such shows?
I'm a performer - a singer (not an amazing one, but I can sing pretty well). And quite honestly it's painful, and also funny to watch these people try to sing. I'm convinced that some of them are just being as ridiculous as possible in order to get on t.v. (Or at least I hope that's what they're doing...) But there are others that really think they can sing. But they're really, really bad.
I'm usually laughing when these people perform, but I'm also cringing. I'm embarassed for them.
Why are we so fascinated with such shows?
Sunday, February 05, 2006
control
Been thinking about one of Slacker Mom's posts since I read it. Guess that mean's I need to add another post.
She wrote:
I am a person who is constantly looking for control. I'm not trying to control other people, just always trying to control what is happening to me... If I just say the right thing, do the right thing, stay organized enough, (my list could go on and on...) then everything will be okay. Won't it? :o)
It actually reminds me of my girls. B was an angel baby. Slept all the time. Smiled the rest of the time. (At least in my memory. :o) I had read (and reread) The Baby Whisperer several times. Worked very hard to follow her guidelines - help B build independence, go to bed on her own, etc... etc... Thought her good habits had so much to do with all our hard work. Then came H. Tried to do the same things with her - build independence, go to bed on her own, etc... H had other things in mind. I found out I wasn't such hot stuff with B, a lot of it was luck. My control over parenting diminished a bit. (I'm still trying though. :o)
She wrote:
when you think you've got it all together, something shoots right in there to show how you don't have any control. And it's not all your doing when things are going great either.
I am a person who is constantly looking for control. I'm not trying to control other people, just always trying to control what is happening to me... If I just say the right thing, do the right thing, stay organized enough, (my list could go on and on...) then everything will be okay. Won't it? :o)
It actually reminds me of my girls. B was an angel baby. Slept all the time. Smiled the rest of the time. (At least in my memory. :o) I had read (and reread) The Baby Whisperer several times. Worked very hard to follow her guidelines - help B build independence, go to bed on her own, etc... etc... Thought her good habits had so much to do with all our hard work. Then came H. Tried to do the same things with her - build independence, go to bed on her own, etc... H had other things in mind. I found out I wasn't such hot stuff with B, a lot of it was luck. My control over parenting diminished a bit. (I'm still trying though. :o)
another music post
Just watching the half-time show, featuring The Rolling Stones. I've always enjoyed their music - it's a lot of fun. Been to a concert once, but I wouldn't call myself a diehard fan.
As I watched, I couldn't help but wonder where he gets all that energy... He's in his 60s right? I consider myself a fairly high energy person, and I was exhausted just watching him.
But then I also noticed - his movements were a little odd - legs not bending quite normally. He wasn't pronouncing his words the way I'm used to. He sounded like his voice changed with a weird accent. I heard "I twied..." quite a bit.
This all led me to the question (and I certainly don't know the answer...) Why are they still up there? Are they trying to make a point? Is it the attention? the fans? the money? (They must have enough of that...) Do they love it? Do they look forward to the shows they do?
I guess if people are still listening, they'll still play. Somebody invited them to play at the Super Bowl. People are still screaming, yelling and bouncing up and down as they play. I wonder when they'll call it quits.
I wonder if my girls (as teenagers) will ask, "Who are The Rolling Stones"?
As I watched, I couldn't help but wonder where he gets all that energy... He's in his 60s right? I consider myself a fairly high energy person, and I was exhausted just watching him.
But then I also noticed - his movements were a little odd - legs not bending quite normally. He wasn't pronouncing his words the way I'm used to. He sounded like his voice changed with a weird accent. I heard "I twied..." quite a bit.
This all led me to the question (and I certainly don't know the answer...) Why are they still up there? Are they trying to make a point? Is it the attention? the fans? the money? (They must have enough of that...) Do they love it? Do they look forward to the shows they do?
I guess if people are still listening, they'll still play. Somebody invited them to play at the Super Bowl. People are still screaming, yelling and bouncing up and down as they play. I wonder when they'll call it quits.
I wonder if my girls (as teenagers) will ask, "Who are The Rolling Stones"?
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
The Power of Music
The power of music never ceases to amaze me... to elicit memories, affect mood, create emotions... It's amazing.
I was driving home tonight and Sister Christian came on the radio. Instant smile on my face, radio got turned up, I started giggling, I even rolled my window down. (Yes, I know it's January.:o)
This used to happen to me all the time when I played in the band. It would be one of those nights when I just didn't feel like performing, we were all just going through the motions. Then a song like "Louie, Louie" would come on and suddenly I can't stop moving to the music and I'm entirely engaged with the audience. The first three notes can get me started.
The song "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night" (don't know if that's the actual title, but I'm sure you know what I mean) brings me back to age 13. I'm literally pulled back in time to the dance I went to at the campground. There was this adorable blonde boy (named Paul) that I had a terrible crush on. I was so excited to be there with him. :o)
I've recently realized (I'm a little slow) that music is a huge stress reliever for me. I can't just be listening to it though. When I'm really stressed out or tired, I just turn the music up, and sing at the top of my lungs. Within minutes, I am energized and calmer. What a gift! :o)
The power of music never ceases to amaze me...
I was driving home tonight and Sister Christian came on the radio. Instant smile on my face, radio got turned up, I started giggling, I even rolled my window down. (Yes, I know it's January.:o)
This used to happen to me all the time when I played in the band. It would be one of those nights when I just didn't feel like performing, we were all just going through the motions. Then a song like "Louie, Louie" would come on and suddenly I can't stop moving to the music and I'm entirely engaged with the audience. The first three notes can get me started.
The song "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night" (don't know if that's the actual title, but I'm sure you know what I mean) brings me back to age 13. I'm literally pulled back in time to the dance I went to at the campground. There was this adorable blonde boy (named Paul) that I had a terrible crush on. I was so excited to be there with him. :o)
I've recently realized (I'm a little slow) that music is a huge stress reliever for me. I can't just be listening to it though. When I'm really stressed out or tired, I just turn the music up, and sing at the top of my lungs. Within minutes, I am energized and calmer. What a gift! :o)
The power of music never ceases to amaze me...
Monday, January 30, 2006
Tough Day
I was very happy to read all of the wonderful things that happened in B's day. :o) I only wish that I could write positive things here.
Tough day at school. Too many kids with too many needs. There doesn't seem to be enough of me to go around. I need to do more than put out fires all day, usually that's possible. But lately... Tomorrow will be better.
Tough night at home. Bedtime sucked. Took paci away from Haley (you'd think that would be the problem, but no...) We put them in at 7:45. The girls kept talking, and talking and talking. Then they call to us - "I need to go potty!" Then, "I need Cinderella!" (or little people, Ariel, or whatever other toy might cross their brain.) Fast forward it's 9:00 - still going. Another potty break. Then Becca starts crying for apparently no reason. (I think she was overtired.) We ignore, and ignore. We don't want to reinforce this behavior at bedtime. Finally we go get her. She says it's another potty break. But now she's crying, she doesn't even know why. She certainly doesn't want to go back to bed. (Although I did put her there.) Haley comes too, earns herself an M&M (for potty use) and we all go back to bed. More screaming. Fast forward - 9:40. Ronnie just left to go for a ride - he can't take the crying anymore. Becca falls asleep. Haley still going. Fast forward - 10:00 - give Haley paci back. Cuddle with her for 10 minutes. (Oops, almost forgot the trip to the potty again...) Rub her back ("one more time") until finally she is silent. Sigh.
I'm not into letting my kids scream for hours on end, but bedtime has become ridiculous. Definitely need to come up with a plan. Why aren't they falling asleep until 9:00? They are tired. Becca didn't even have a nap today. Too many toys in crib? Limit to 1 with books? That won't go over well, but maybe something to try for tomorrow night. Maybe we need a list of what they can have before bed (and we're not entering the room after that...)? Tomorrow will be better.
Who knows? Too tired, maybe decide tomorrow.
Sorry to be so negative. Had to get it off my chest.
Tough day at school. Too many kids with too many needs. There doesn't seem to be enough of me to go around. I need to do more than put out fires all day, usually that's possible. But lately... Tomorrow will be better.
Tough night at home. Bedtime sucked. Took paci away from Haley (you'd think that would be the problem, but no...) We put them in at 7:45. The girls kept talking, and talking and talking. Then they call to us - "I need to go potty!" Then, "I need Cinderella!" (or little people, Ariel, or whatever other toy might cross their brain.) Fast forward it's 9:00 - still going. Another potty break. Then Becca starts crying for apparently no reason. (I think she was overtired.) We ignore, and ignore. We don't want to reinforce this behavior at bedtime. Finally we go get her. She says it's another potty break. But now she's crying, she doesn't even know why. She certainly doesn't want to go back to bed. (Although I did put her there.) Haley comes too, earns herself an M&M (for potty use) and we all go back to bed. More screaming. Fast forward - 9:40. Ronnie just left to go for a ride - he can't take the crying anymore. Becca falls asleep. Haley still going. Fast forward - 10:00 - give Haley paci back. Cuddle with her for 10 minutes. (Oops, almost forgot the trip to the potty again...) Rub her back ("one more time") until finally she is silent. Sigh.
I'm not into letting my kids scream for hours on end, but bedtime has become ridiculous. Definitely need to come up with a plan. Why aren't they falling asleep until 9:00? They are tired. Becca didn't even have a nap today. Too many toys in crib? Limit to 1 with books? That won't go over well, but maybe something to try for tomorrow night. Maybe we need a list of what they can have before bed (and we're not entering the room after that...)? Tomorrow will be better.
Who knows? Too tired, maybe decide tomorrow.
Sorry to be so negative. Had to get it off my chest.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
The Pleasure of Not Being Perfect
This was the title of an essay I just read from Oprah's December issue. (Yes, I am just reading Decembers, I just can't seem to keep up. October is probably buried in the basket somewhere...
Anyway, the title totally caught my eye. I certainly struggle to find pleasure in not being perfect. As a matter of fact, I can't imagine anyone finding pleasure in it. To me, it's torture. I have fought the battle being a perfectionist my entire life. (I'm pretty sure since birth.) I can't live up to my own standards (and when I think about it intellectually, I don't think anyone can).
Truthfully, I've come a long way. I used to be a perfectionist about everything - the way I looked, the apartment looked, my work looked - it was all consuming. I've calmed down (some) since then. I've given up on the apartment. I just can't keep up with it. I'd rather be doing other things. And everything I do doesn't need to look perfect either. I'm getting better at "letting it go".
I still struggle with people however. That sounds odd even as I write it, because I'm such a people person. I know that's a strength of mine, but I expect myself to be perfect in each interaction I have. I say "sorry" for practically everything I say or do, even when I didn't do anything wrong. Even when what happened is completely out of my control. I will leave a situation and completely nit pick practically every thing I said - every response I gave, every question I asked, every everything...
Well, I guess knowing is half the battle. Maybe I'll carry this article around with me in my quest to find "The Pleasure of Not Being Perfect".
Anyway, the title totally caught my eye. I certainly struggle to find pleasure in not being perfect. As a matter of fact, I can't imagine anyone finding pleasure in it. To me, it's torture. I have fought the battle being a perfectionist my entire life. (I'm pretty sure since birth.) I can't live up to my own standards (and when I think about it intellectually, I don't think anyone can).
Truthfully, I've come a long way. I used to be a perfectionist about everything - the way I looked, the apartment looked, my work looked - it was all consuming. I've calmed down (some) since then. I've given up on the apartment. I just can't keep up with it. I'd rather be doing other things. And everything I do doesn't need to look perfect either. I'm getting better at "letting it go".
I still struggle with people however. That sounds odd even as I write it, because I'm such a people person. I know that's a strength of mine, but I expect myself to be perfect in each interaction I have. I say "sorry" for practically everything I say or do, even when I didn't do anything wrong. Even when what happened is completely out of my control. I will leave a situation and completely nit pick practically every thing I said - every response I gave, every question I asked, every everything...
Well, I guess knowing is half the battle. Maybe I'll carry this article around with me in my quest to find "The Pleasure of Not Being Perfect".
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Ice Skating is Tricky
Been out all day. Left the house at 8:30am and just returning. Not sure why I do this to myself... Had fun though.
Took the girls ice skating this afternoon. They got skates for Christmas. Took them once two weeks ago - I was sore for two days. Glutton for punishment? Probably. We were amazed at how much they've improved. Last time they couldn't keep their feet beneath them. They relied entirely on us for support. Today, Becca skated all by herself!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (She did fall on her face and split her lip, but she was doing great before then...) I was incredibly impressed by their new found development.
As always, I'm left wondering. How are they growing up so fast?
Sidebar - We took them skating after my brother-in-law's alumni game for Suffolk's Hockey Team. There were college kids everywhere and I couldn't help but wonder when college students became so young. Probably a better question would be - When did I become a grown up?
Took the girls ice skating this afternoon. They got skates for Christmas. Took them once two weeks ago - I was sore for two days. Glutton for punishment? Probably. We were amazed at how much they've improved. Last time they couldn't keep their feet beneath them. They relied entirely on us for support. Today, Becca skated all by herself!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (She did fall on her face and split her lip, but she was doing great before then...) I was incredibly impressed by their new found development.
As always, I'm left wondering. How are they growing up so fast?
Sidebar - We took them skating after my brother-in-law's alumni game for Suffolk's Hockey Team. There were college kids everywhere and I couldn't help but wonder when college students became so young. Probably a better question would be - When did I become a grown up?
Friday, January 27, 2006
New post, a few drinks later. Played Taboo with J, B and C. Laughed a ton! If you haven't played it you should. You have to speak really WELL to play. (Don't ask. :o) If you haven't played before you have to get your partner to guess the word your talking about. The trick is, you can't use the 5 key words that are also on the card. J and B also practiced their high fives (they really struggled with it...).
Anyway, it was a fun night. We should really have more nights with so much laughter (and alcohol :o).
Anyway, it was a fun night. We should really have more nights with so much laughter (and alcohol :o).
My very first post...It may be my only...
This is it. My very first post. Betsy made me do it. I was just trying to get my name to be highlighted when I comment on her blog, and here I am with my own. Who knew?
Betsy is also responsible for the title. She thought I should title it "A Life Less Ordinary", when in fact, my life is very ordinary. (Which may leave you wondering why you would want to read this blog.)
That's it. I have nothing more to say. What do you have to say?
Betsy is also responsible for the title. She thought I should title it "A Life Less Ordinary", when in fact, my life is very ordinary. (Which may leave you wondering why you would want to read this blog.)
That's it. I have nothing more to say. What do you have to say?
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